Not Measuring Up

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Not Measuring Up

I started my first list when a dear friend from church told me she knew the guy she'd just gotten engaged to was "the one" because her list had over 125 things on it and he fit every one of them. (They've been happily married for 10 years now).

Then I tore up my list when someone else told me it was the equivalent of demanding something your way from God. I think the exact words were, "He isn't Burger King; you don't always get it your way."

Then I re-wrote the list when I was seeing a Christian counselor who asked me to make a list—not of the superficial "I'd like it if he was …" stuff, but the biblical "this is who God wants for me" stuff—so I could see it on paper. Because then I could see how my then-boyfriend didn't have 3/4 of these qualities, even on a good day. I can't remember exactly what happened to that list, but that boyfriend was gone soon thereafter.

Some time later I started another list—one that included everything I'd always wanted in my future husband but was afraid to hope for. I held onto that one for a long time and even tweaked it from time to time, crossing off things I later saw as superficial.

Then a funny thing happened: I started thinking about what kind of woman a man who met my requirements would want—and seeing how far short I fell. So I tore up my list. I don't want to miss out on an amazing man of God because he doesn't rate enough check marks. Heaven knows I wouldn't measure up under the same scrutiny. This realization made me even more thankful for God's grace and patience as we grow as his workmanship. For now, I'm working on improving my own rating, becoming the kind of woman the tremendous man of God I hope to marry someday would want as his helpmate throughout this bumpy life-road we walk.

Most importantly, I'm getting to know my heavenly Father as well as possible so I can clearly see what and who he wants for me.

Danielle

So there you have it...I AM thankful for God's grace and patience and pray that I am becoming the kind of man that only God can mold me into and that I will find a woman of God, without "the list".

Frank